this heartache inside me

'and we will worship, worship
forever in Your presence we will sing'

I sing it out loud, with a longing heart.
But I'm standing here at the kitchen sink trying so hard to find You HERE.

Forever in Your presence..Yes Lord!

But I feel this pain and this longing because it is NOT YET

The other night when I was full of the Holy Spirit, I felt it, Your presence.
So close, so full of joy and love for You.

The first week after it was still there.
Bursting out of my soul, unable to keep silent.

I also felt kind of sad, missing something, melancholic.

Now I know what it is..
it is because it is NOT YET

the closer I come
the more I know what I'm still missing

the closer I feel You
the more I feel
that heaven is far away

and as long as I'm on this earth
there will be this heartache
this deep, deep longing
to be one with my God and Father

but this pain
isn't just painful though
because it also makes me
stretch forward
reaching out
for more of You 
in me 
THIS moment

with in my heart 
the certainty
that not yet
only means that
THE BEST 
is YET TO COME